Apples

There are about one million of these in our back yard, on the ground. They are much prettier and definitely more desirable when still attached to the tree. But inevitably, they end up on the ground, in the grass, decaying to mush. The back yard has started to give off a stench not unlike what I imagine a bootleg brewery to smell like, in the 1920's, before the invention of air conditioning.

Am I complaining? Maybe a little. I've always wanted a fruit tree. As a kid I use to imagine waking up in the morning, walking to my backyard and picking fruit from one of my many and diverse trees that would be swaying in the breeze, waiting for my arrival. I would then carry my choice picks to my kitchen, cut them to fine strips and feed them into my Jack Lalanne Power Juicer. I would sit, with my dog and drink my fresh, sweet, perfect juice. Then, in my imagination, I would lift my shirt to see a beautiful 4-pack appear. The skin on my face would clear up to be a flawless, rosy completion and a twinkle of my perfectly straight, white teeth would catch the eye of my imaginary boyfriend, luke, beckoning him to greet me with a good morning kiss.

But this is not how having a fruit tree is going down in reality. It has been a messy, smelly and dangerous (another story for another blog) experience. Mother Nature sensed my aggravation and created a gust front that resulted in one half of the apple tree laying over a power line- dispersing apples everywhere. After It was all cleaned up, which entailed a morning of me imitating Mike Rowe (yes you missed it, I'll show you when I see you next), with power tools and one big a$$ truck.

I feel bad for hating the apple tree, because now it looks so sad, one half of a tree standing alone in the backyard, with rotting fruit all around its feet. I'm almost compelled to dig out my favorite children's book The Giving Tree to gain some perspective, or maybe I should write my own book about my tree. Maybe not.

So, if any of you know where I live, and need some extra sour green apples, feel free to pick them and take them home to your own juicer. Maybe I should have you sign a waiver first just in case you break your leg by falling out of my tree, we have nothing for you to win in a settlement, unless of course, you want half of an apple tree.

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We're heading to Chelan, Washington in the morning for the XC Open and the Canadian Nationals Paragliding Competition. It'll be a blast. I'll post pictures for you all to see. I'm hoping that it won't be 100+ degrees like it was last time we were out there. If it is, I'll ditch to comp and spend the week in the river. Rivers are so good.